The Women in anklet

The best thing about the rain in winters is that every shower has got that cold wet freshness that it makes you feel like its the first rain shower of the season. The naked brown branches of the trees, the dry soothing sadness around, the honks and the windy wind suddenly seems to bathe in a fountain of drops falling from the sky and everything is just silent, all you hear is the rain drops like a women with anklets, mad in love running filling in a secret desire “I wish had it been me she was searching”, and sight of her bare feet wrapping the anklet made it feel like a new something is added to the brook flowing and it was just all the more beautiful.
A walk around the road smelled awesome with some smoke emanating from a somewhere invisible but rendering that country side feel of something cooking on a hearth with coal beneath or may be wood and the bangles of a lady singing with her song and her constant stirring, I dint know if she was for real or if I was just experiencing her presence somewhere around me but I felt I could hear it and the rain kept dropping and her anklets kept on making me crazy. I stood under the tree managing on the wet log listening to every drop from the fountain feeling it drop on my head and peep into my roots, in my soul leaving that shiver with every pass of wind. Wires connecting something to something standing like giants across the busy huge open space and sat on it were birds looking at me or may be ignoring my presence busy in their harmony sitting in solace talking to themselves making me wonder if they wondered too if they thought me to be someone lost looking for the lady in anklets who just walks and walks but no one turns to her but me, making me question myself is she there? Or is it that only I hear them?
It dint bother that moment, that cold fresh air just went on blowing me on all over, every single thing I wore was wet and I could feel everything shivering but I couldn’t help following the sound. It took me a little deeper in mud and I had no choice but to get rid of my shoes hold them in hand and feel the sqeezing mud between my fingers, I recalled my child hood days and the swamp just made me jump in it not till my heart pleased but unfortunately till an unseen stone hit my anklets making me fall real bad. I suddenly recalled my mom’s statement “happy like a pig in mud”. Pig in mud my eyes beamed and I dint mind the mud on my jacket, pig for some time until the speeding rain took my notice to the anklets and I sat on the the wet ground hearing the harsh drops on my head, on the ground, on the puddle and the brook that was flowing somewhere near and she kept on dancing with her anklets on, making me mad, wanting to search for her and help her find him. For I know she isn’t looking for me, why would she, what is it that I have but her madness was turning me crazy and no way I could return home being a pig in mud, I had to look for the brook and clean myself to be presentable at least, but what if she too is there with her foot dipped in the brook and may be if some fish is playing with her anklet and what if I see her and then I never want to help her, not find any one else and just be mine, and hold me close to her bosom, crease my hair and make me sleep with her warmth in this cold rainy day. May be my head would stop playing her anklets, I thought but what if she refuses me? What if she never wants to search for me if I am lost, what if she doesn’t even turns to me when I am there at the brook and what if she isn’t really there and its just me hearing this sound and its just me dreaming of the woman in anklet. It still rained but I dint know if I was still hearing her or was trying not to search for her.

Manowara Chowdhury
23/01/2014

Falling in love

Entering through my eyes
It rushed into my soul,
Flowed through my veins
and I just could not hold.
that sudden flow of joy
That sudden burst of tears,
That instant fearless smile
That assurance of You being near.

That feeling which
Suddenly tickled my heart,
That sweet delicate pull
I just couldn’t discard.
That lovely emotion
Which helped me to grow,
Those awe full moments
Sometimes high sometimes low.
That sudden rush
That sudden flow,
Left me some where
But where? I didn’t know.

I slept with a lovely thought.
And got up in a lovely dream,
All my expectations
Were so beautifully seen.
Life seemed so colorful
Even more vibrant more then a rainbow,
I welcomed it with open arms
Where else cud I go.

My incomplete smile
Were finding a path,
I could see my destination
And the way to start.
Synonymous with life
Only that one feel is true,
Listen if u can,
My soul is accepting “I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU”

Manowara Chowdhury

rAin

I see the drops
Sprinkled on my soul
and I see the window
wanting nothing to hold

Nothing drains away
A cleaning is on
I am still the me
I know nothing is gone

I see the sky
changing its shade
I see my eyes
Not willing to be afraid

Drop in some more
I am not blinking you see,
I have always loved the rain
Just as much as me.

Manowara Chowdhury

Special

I don’t promise to get you the moon,
I don’t promise to get you the star,
but i promise to think the best for you,
Away from me wherever you are.

I don’t promise to hear your words
I don’t promise to weep in your sorrow,
But I promise to understand your feel,
Gift you my joys your pain I would borrow.

I don’t promise to do anything,
That you expect me to do,
But I promise to assure you,
At all times I am with you.

I don’t promise to express my feel,
I don’t promise to let you see
Bt I promise to be who I am,
Because you are truly “Special” to me.

Manowara Chowdhury

It’s all about You

The entire world is rejoicing the arrival of a new year and I am wondering why so??  How does an year makes a difference to anything??

    “An year older” I herd my uncle say when he kissed my forehead on my birthday “we need to get your man before its too late” he smiled and I wished the year never ends, “an addition to my age” wish it halts right now I though within…. It’s ironical when the very same year I got an opportunity for a foreign assignment, I again wished the time to slow, as if suddenly at my desire the hours would become longer, I wanted to see the world beyond the four walls of my room beyond the limited fence I had created around my imagination and I wanted the time to halt… Or may be if I could have a watch of my own some kind of a magical watch….my eyes twinkled….
       Imagination is a crazy thing, you build your own world and then you keep dwelling in it for ever, ironical is some people you meet along the way add on to your world and then suddenly one fine day teach you a lesson on reality, fill in some real world “PRACTICAL SCENARIOS ” and make you question your own credibility, your thoughts and make you stand as a prisoner of your decisions asking you to forget your own happiness compelling you to live a life for sake of some worth giving up your ideas and world for….. And you wish the time to pass quickly, suddenly a blot comes and hovers around your soul, your mind and you feel time is the solution, time is the only way that would heal all the voids and all the wounds.
Some one up there in the clouds sitting listening to your wish listening to my desire must have got confused as to what he should do, should he make the time stop or should the time follow it’s own course, and he is supposed to adhere to everyone’s wishes, everyone desire and had I been that someone above I would have never been able to be fair…. And how would I actually know if I am doing the right thing… So I guess we shouldn’t question him about anything, when someone tries to appease you, that everything happens for good just ignore it if you don’t want to believe it.
Someone had a post on a social site stating that the year began with tears and that if this year has passed anything would pass and blah blah blah…. And even if I wasn’t knowing what happened to her I felt she suffered and must have been hurt, intrigued I scanned through the posts posted last year and all I could conclude was she was betrayed (if I want to b fair I need to know other side of the story) or let’s say it dint work out with the person she was in a relationship and again I think what exactly is a relationship, what is a relation why do they exist if everything is unfair, if one person has to let go because the other is not responding or not wanting or is suddenly too practical that your dreamz, your life, your world which once revolved around them is fictitious and nothing more than a self created mystery and you make yourself believe if someone is meant to stay they would no matter what happens and you dwell in a hope that some day you would be happy some year it would be the kind of year you want…. And yet again some time passes some months are gone and life is revolving….
It’s survival I think that makes most difference and how to survive is something no one can teach you, every mystic or guru or whatever they are called or want themselves to be called would tell you something you already know, sometimes it’s important to be reminded but eventually it’s you who needs to find a way, it’s you who has to cross the river if you can not swim you would have to learn and if you believe that you won’t drown and some pirate looking incredible like captain Jack Sparrow would save you keep on believing in it for a life without dreamz is useless….
A new year or the same old year what remains on and after time is you, your grip on things that try to change you, people, circumstances whatever they are things that try to change you, your world if are more valuable let them change things and if you can not let anyone change it then love them more than ever…. If you want to celebrate then celebrate if you want to mourn, then mourn but never stop believing in your self… You want to hide or tell them to the world your choice but what should not wipe away with tears or fly away in smiles is You….
          You need not be a good person to make you love yourself, you need not change yourself for to be in love with yourself, you need not climb by pulling someone down or if you think that’s the best way then do it as long as you are satisfied. Eventually it’s your life and you can do anything you want, add someone today remove someone tomorrow and as long as it doesn’t matters keep on believing in your self all you need is to remember is if someday you look at yourself and your self questions you, on anything you have done, neither can you deny, nor you want to accpt but if you can change anything then be brave to rectify it even if it at the expense of your dreamz for its just you who should matter to you….leave out all the rest…

Manowara Chowdhury